Soul Musings

The Journey by Mary Oliver

Lately I’ve been feeling a lot like this:

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save. 

© Mary Oliver. Online Source

Kirstie Alley, Dancing With the Stars, and Body Size and Image

I’m watching Dancing With the Stars — a secret vice I indulge in from time to time — and I have been enthralled.  Perhaps I’m just a frustrated dancer inside; perhaps I just love to watch people move together.  Whatever the reason, it has been exciting to watch.

And yet — I am painfully aware that Ms. Alley has yet to dance.  I am aware of her struggles with her weight over the last 20 years, even as I have been aware of my own struggles with my weight.  Thankfully I have come to a good place.  I love my body, no matter the size.  I am appreciative that I am healthy enough and recovered enough from an 18 month stint with injuries to exercise again.  I am looking forward to improving my fitness level again.  And I am very aware of how difficult this process can be, especially when it is done in the public eye.

I have always enjoyed Kirstie Alley.  I’ve loved her work, and think she has a lot to offer the world in terms of wisdom and talent.  It makes me sad to see her making jokes about herself and her size — as though she has anything to apologize for at all.

I think about what Portia de Rossi said, when she talked about her own struggle with anorexia.  I cannot find the direct quote, but it went something like this:  “We are so much more than how we look.”  Amen, Portia, amen.

Women will not have equality until they are judged not so much on their looks or how well they live up to a media-induced standard of “beauty” but by the light within, and the talents and gifts they bring to the world.  I will forego the entire “Men are judged by their earning potential” argument here — just know that I’m aware of it, and I think it is unfair too.

My point is simply this:  Kirsty Allie has much to be proud of.  She is smart, witty, beautiful, and talented.  She need make NO APOLOGIES about her body or her choices.  She is who she is, and if she is questing after fitness and that includes weight loss, more power to her.  I do hope that she is not wanting to “lose weight” for approval or for love, or to “get rid of” a part of herself that she hates.  It never, ever works, any of it.  The body size may become smaller, but the underlying issues of what got her to that size remain.

I affirm that I am beautiful too.  I am.  It has taken me 50 years to understand this, embrace it, and to love myself.  I am looking forward to rebuilding my fitness level as I love myself well, and support my own wellness journey.

May we all find the beauty in ourselves, and each other.

Soul Musings

P.S.  Just saw Kirstie Alley dance — and OMG she ROCKED it!  She was sexy, sensual, and you could tell she was enjoying herself.  It did my heart GOOD to see her GO!  Yay, Kirstie!